An Arsenal of Wisdom

Sparkling eyes really draw me in. I'm not talking about physical attraction like that I have to Matt's dreamy light eyes. I could rave about that man, but I'm not writing to make you vomit from my lovey gushings. There are a few ladies in my life who have eyes that exhibit a vigor for life. They make me feel interesting, important and loved when I'm locked in conversation them. Rarely would they pull an Annie, and drift away from conversation upon sighting a chocolate chip cookie. These are the women I long to be like...and they all happen to be 60 or older.

I'm huge.

Let's start with Marilyn. Small in stature, but mighty in heart. Marilyn looks like she's hiding some secret joy inside and indeed she is. I met Marilyn in 2009, when I started going to CDO Baptist routinely. I was so excited for Matt to meet her because they both seem to fully grasp the joy found in day-to-day life. Marilyn's husband Len is the gentlest gentleman I have ever met. He is a retired pastor and can be found greeting on our church steps religiously (pun intended) every Sunday morning. Marilyn is the best version of living, breathing faith I have ever seen. Every time we see her, she asks how she can pray for us and when Matt's next meet is. I have never seen her angry, but I saw a slight flame in her eyes when I gave her a wrong approximation for when Matt's race would be streaming online. She missed the race. She gave me the "I still love you, but I'm disappointed in you" maternal look.

How often do we hear "our thoughts and prayers are with you," yet have a feeling the prayer part is in there for added drama? Maybe I'm the only cynical one who thinks that way, because I know I have  said I'd pray for someone, then forgotten. When Marilyn says she will pray, she will pray. She kneels and prays at the bedside for a long while according to her husband, who seems humbled just talking about his wife's faith. There were times when Marilyn got me out of bed to go to church. Not physically, of course, but just knowing I'd get to see a lady who injects so much light into the lives of those around her. I wish you all could meet her.

Next up. Donna Swaim. Donna was one of my professors in college. Since the curriculum in her class changed every semester, I was allowed to take her class twice. I know I've written about it before because it's unlike any other college class, probably worldwide. Spirituality in the Arts was the curious name of the course, but we renamed the class Friendship 101. There was a theme every semester. For shame, I can only remember my first semester's theme which was ambiguity; appropriate for such an unpredictable class. We read Jodi Picoult books (she's a hero of mine), Garth Stein's The Art of Racing in the Rain, Montaigne philosophy, and lots more...not your typical reading list. Donna acted as a classmate. She is a lifelong student, an avid reader, and a woman looking to learn from her students. We would sit in a circle and take notes on each other's opinions of our readings. Our tests were meant to test our knowledge on our classmates. Example: "What life-changing trip did David go on last year?" This made everyone listen intently to one another, which was easy to do with Donna's example of how to be completely invested in every conversation. Donna just retired after teaching at the University of Arizona for 60 years. Yes, 60. She said she might be a volunteer hospice worker now. Her callings are special. Donna earnestly wants to learn everything about everything. When I run into her now, we skip the small talk. She reaches straight for the soul and waits for you to spill. I made that sound unpleasant, but with her, it's not. Donna has a comfortable presence. Her reassuring smiles and knowing eyes make you feel right at home. Grateful for this spunky mentor.

 

The last lady bursting with love I must mention is my mama. She has set an extraordinary example for me that I will try to live up to, but I'm not sure anyone can. I've watched her handle difficult people with incomprehensible grace and extract meaning from trials that would send most humans into deep despair. All who have bumped shoulders with Barb know she radiates a selfless love I imagine people felt when they were around Jesus. Don't worry, mama, I don't expect you to always be messianic, but you sure know how to nurture with sincerity. I missed my mom so much during my freshman year of college that I literally could not talk to her on the phone. You know, that motherly voice seeping with care that no other voice can convey? When we did speak, she did all of the talking because my throat was taut from suppressing tears. When she came to visit in October, she had to leave early for the airport because we both started crying in the grocery store just thinking about her departure. Yeah, I'm exposing my girly, fragile side, but my mother is worth buckets of tears. No bond quite like a mama-daughter bond. Especially when raised in a house full of boys. Not sure I would have done well with a sister, because then I would have had to share the attention of my best bud. I can't write anymore about her because my throat is tightening up. If you don't know Barbie Chandler, you should. She'll love you. It's a guarantee.