Like many of you, I'm perplexed at how we ended up here-- with two presidential candidates that don't seem to represent the majority of us...at all. I don't like that these are my choices, and to be perfectly honest, I have no clue what I'm going to do on election day.
But I want to write about an issue that's ruffled many of our feathers this past week-- an issue that's important -- not just to bold feminists, but to every man, woman and child on this planet. I listened to the full 2005 "hot mic" recording between Trump and Billy Bush. I also read the transcripts from Trump's appearances on the (repugnant) Howard Stern Show.
I started to brush off his comments, because I've heard them before...
Athletes hang out with other athletes in college. I've overheard conversations so saturated in disrespect that they made me cringe and writhe in place, but I shook them off. It was "bro talk"-- usually a conversation I wasn't meant to hear.
Now let me defend the guys-- I've heard girls say nasty things too. Not necessarily objectifying men with their words, but perpetuating the objectification of women with their comments about other girls.
As much as I hated listening to the lustful, arrogant words of Trump and Bush from 2005, I'm glad we're all being forced to hear this "locker room talk". I know and love a lot of people who, I'm sure, have let similar words slip from their mouths. I was a part of a college swim team made up of men and women...eh, let's not give us too much credit-- boys and girls.
I never heard the swim boys' locker room talk, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have wanted to. As much as I believe many of my teammates (who became like brothers) had excellent role models growing up, there are urges/pressures for boys recently "freed" into collegiate life. A life of excess they never were allowed under mom and dad's roof is suddenly at their feet. They can drink as much as they want, forget what happened, then listen to their friend's recount their drunken adventures, which often include pursuing attractive collegiate girls.
We women possess some naturally feminine qualities which lead to us being called "pretty" or "beautiful". I think most of us like these feminine qualities, hence why we accentuate them with make up. I have no qualms with either of those words being used to describe me, as long as I'm not defined by them. I do however, have qualms with certain words also used to describe females.
If someone were to insert the word "beautiful" in front of these words: pussy, tits, rack...(you get the picture), I might punch them in the face. The fact that our bodies are being spoken about in circles of men, and referring to it as "locker room talk" is supposed to be a good excuse, is appalling.
Have you ever overheard someone critically talking about a person you are not well-acquainted with? Typically whatever criticism I hear will be the first thing that pops out at me the next time I see that person.
Is that fair?! Heck no. I have not formed an opinion of this person on my own-- someone's random critique of them is unfairly what I see/think of them.
I can only imagine how this works with locker room talk. To simplify let's use the names Joe and Jane. Joe is in the locker room and hears his teammates/friends talking about the size of Jane's boobs. They go into intimate detail and Joe has never met Jane. The next weekend, Joe attends a party and is introduced to Jane. What do you think his first thoughts are of Jane? Boobs. And he knows exactly what they look like and which of his teammates have seen them. That makes me want to puke. This is not reserved to the male locker room. My first impressions of many individuals were tainted due to things I heard in the female locker room.
Yes, this is an issue of respect but it's mainly an issue of self control. Our tongues are to be tamed. Trump is learning this the hard way. At least in 2005, his ego was swollen enough to make him think speaking these lewd thoughts aloud was OK. I have no doubt that pride and lack of self control have led many-a-person in his position to think themselves worthy/deserving of acting on these thoughts. Ew.
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?
James 3:9-10
Our thoughts become our words become our actions. This is why faith must rule in my life. My thoughts are not innately good. If I were to always "speak my mind" I guarantee many things that would flow forth would be detestable. Some of the most convicting scriptures in the Bible revolve around being cautious of what you allow to enter your mind.
You choose what you watch.
You choose who you hang out with.
You choose whether to engage in disgusting dialogue or bring it to a halt.
You choose what you listen to (don't choose freaking shock jocks like Howard Stern).
If you're at all like me, you know when you let something bad in. After watching a particularly disturbing or vulgar show, I have nightmares. It's almost a guarantee. I'm literally tormented by what I voluntarily allowed to enter my mind.
Maybe you think this sounds prude. I'd like to argue that it's prudent. Show care for your future thoughts and what they could lead to.
23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
Proverbs 4:23
